by Dr. Ofer Zur, Ph.D. 

 

 

Many clients, patients or potential clients of psychotherapy and counseling have wondered:

Clients and patients as well as therapists and counselors are often confronted with difficult situations where it is not clear what is appropriate for therapist-patient relationships.  While it is clear that sex with ones therapist during treatment is never a good idea (and is illegal is most states during and for at least 2 years after therapy has ended) many other issues fall in the gray area. These issues most often include questions of friendship, gifts, bartering, hugs, home visits, etc.

 

There is a myth or faulty belief that was mostly perpetuated by therapists that claim that therapists and clients should never have any other relationships in the community besides the therapist-client one. Some people were led to believe that unknown and unfamiliar therapists are best suited to heal peoples' emotional and other wounds. Thousands of years of healing practices have taught us otherwise.  I remember when I lived and worked in remote areas of Africa, I do not recall villagers going three villages down the river to find a medicine man or wise woman to help them heal.  The opposite, they sought healers in their own community, especially because these healers knew them, their families and ancestors and because these medicine men and women or witch doctors were familiar with the trees and water and perhaps with spirits and ghosts that had been tormenting the suffering soul.  Such deep familiarity and knowledge enabled these healers to do their healing work. 

 

Similar issue has been raised in regard to touch even though we have thousands of studies which show that touch is one of the most essential elements of human development, a profound method of communication, a critical component of the health and growth of infants, and a powerful healing force. Ample research has demonstrated that touch calms, sooths, and, in fact, can significantly change the brain and body chemistry.  However, in our over-sexualized culture touch becomes a taboo, not legal or ethical. So if your therapist touches you in a way that calms or soothes you and it seems helpful and is not sexual in any way, my hope is that you will welcome it with "open arms."

How to Connect in a Disconnected World
By Nancy R. Harris, MSS

 

How do you define love? What if your definition of love is causing you to feel disconnected, unhappy, unloved and/or lacking inner peace?  Do you think you are capable of changing your definition of love?  Liz did!

 

I want to share with you an excerpt from the story of one woman's personal transformation and her unique discovery that love is like chocolate chip cookies.  Love has a repeatable recipe.  Unfortunately, Liz, like most of us, left home without having learned all the ingredients or knowing how to create loving connections.

 

In today's fast paced world of computers, email and attached garages, where we spend more time connecting with our favorite TV characters than our neighbors, it is getting harder to connect.  Yet, connecting, sharing, touching, caring, sharing is the basis for how human beings love.

 

One day when Liz was in College she was asked.
"What are the main ingredients you want in your LOVE recipe?"  She answered:

Liz's mentor explained to her that she had made a great list but that her list is the qualities that make for a successful relationship and are the by-products of love. However, they are not the main ingredients in love.

Frustrated and confused. Liz asked, "Then what is love?"

 

She was told, "LOVE IS THE WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE OF FEELING CONNECTED! Learning how to connect and live in the loving is the journey called life".

 

You will know love when you feel connected. When you have a sense of inner peace, an inner knowing that everything is okay, that everything is perfect, just the way it is. Even if you do not like it!

 

Love is an always present, always available Energy that each of us can tap into at anytime.  It is not dependent upon another person.

You can find it in a moment of laughter, in the giggle of an infant, in the glow of a sunrise or sunset, in the flight of an eagle, or in the miracle of a butterfly.  LOVE IS EVERYWHERE! LOVE IS IN EVERYTHING.

 

Love is the Life Force, the essence of all things. Love is the word we use to describe a gut feeling that we FEEL when we experience the bliss of being CONNECTED to the life force, (the Goodness, the Godness) in someone or something. 

 

When we feel connected to another Life Force we say we love that situation, animal, thing, or person.  Many people feel the word love is overused and therefore has little meaning.  But, every time anyone says they LOVE their Spouse, Children, Pets, Art, Food, Motorcycle, Skiing, Football, the Wilderness and even Chocolate Chip Cookies, they are describing a sense of connection.

 

Over 30 years Liz's journey took her to many teachers, mountain tops, workshops and college degrees. Slowly year after year she would add more ingredients to her recipe and prefect the recipe, until she knew that she had created her own unique form of connecting/loving.
  
Liz's recipe for CONNECTION is:

The two most important of these 10 ingredients that helped Liz to connect/love were; Releasing her fears and her anxieties and Discovering her Spiritual Life Purpose.  Having a good counselor, mentor and Spiritual Teachers along the way to support Liz in her growth was all part of her journey.

 

Are you ready to discover your recipe for Connecting/Loving?
Are you willing to change your definition of love and to learn how to truly connect? If your answer is YES, then please trust that you can do it. Desire, willingness and intention are what it takes to get started. You many need some help.  Everyone does!

The Colorado Association of Psychotherapist offers a wide selection of Psychotherapist, Psychologists, Hypnotherapist, Marriage and Family Counselors, Energy Therapist, and a lot more.  There is a counselor that can help you learn how to live in your loving and connect.
Please visit the CAP listing of therapist to find the perfect one for you!

The above article is an excerpt from the book Take Two Cookies and Call Me in the Morning, A story of how to connect in a disconnected world. (ELF'IN Publishing - 2003). All rights reserved by the Author, Nancy R. Harris, MSS.  Nancy is an Intuitive/Holistic Psychotherapist, Energy Therapist, Workshop Facilitator and Author.  She teaches her clients and workshop participants quick and easy ways to release emotional disturbances that sabotages them from enjoying a true sense of CONNECTION/love and inner peace. She considers her counseling a Spiritual Approach to Resolving Everyday Issues. Nancy has been in private practice for 18 years. She can be reached at www.nancyharris.com or 303 692-9092.

by Suzy Walz, CAP Board Vice-President

 

Did you know that one of objectives of the Colorado Association of Psychotherapists is to monitor legislative action in the state legislature that may affect your practice as an unlicensed psychotherapist?  A portion of your annual dues goes to paying a lobbyist who screens proposed legislative action that may have an impact on the mental health code.  Along with Greg McHugh, CAP's Legislative Chair, I have been involved in presenting a proposed rule change to the Mental Health Grievance Board.  It is from this experience that I am learning quite a bit about the legislative process, lobbyists, and practice codes in Colorado.
 
All psychotherapists and most mental health professionals practice under the Colorado Mental Health Practice Act.  This law establishes within The Colorado Department of Regulatory Agencies the following boards: the Mental Health Grievance Board and the licensing boards for social workers, psychologists, professional counselors and marriage and family therapists. The regulatory activity of these boards is guided by the provisions of the statute and the statute's list of prohibited activities.
 
The unlicensed psychotherapists' Mental Health Grievance Board is made up of seven members who review complaints against practioners.  The seven members are comprised of four public members and three mental health professionals.  If you are interested in how the grievance process is handled, you may review the DoRA website:
http://www.dora.state.co.us/mental-health/complaints.htm
 
On September 28th a proposed rule change was submitted to the Mental Health Grievance Board on behalf of CAP in an effort to clarify two conflicting clauses regarding dual relationships in psychotherapy in The Mental Health Practice Act.  One of these two clauses, when conservatively interpreted, suggests that all dual relationships are in violation of the law - a categorical prohibition. The other clause at issue states that a person is in violation of the law if she or he does not practice in accord of the "standards of discipline" (code of ethics) of the field of practice. And, since this law was first written in the 1980s those codes of ethics have subsequently evolved to allow dual relationships.
 
CAP's proposal was to adopt language that would clarify that a psychotherapist would not be in violation if he or she made an assessment of a potential client where there would be a dual relationship and concluded that there would be no risk or impaired judgment or exploitation.
 
The board listened to the proposal without any discussion allowed at that time.  CAP is waiting to hear on whether or not the board thinks it has the authority to make such a rule change.  If they decide they do not have the authority, or do not wish to make this proposed change, various scenarios may ensue.
 
One option for the Mental Health Grievance Board is to adopt a rule as per CAPs suggestion.
 
A second option might be that the Mental Health Grievance Board does not feel it has the legal authority to adopt such a rule and does nothing.
 
A third option is that the Department of Regulatory Agencies may see the conflict and want to introduce legislation to clarify the conflict between the two provions of the law.
 
If no action is taken at all by DoRA, then CAP may choose to introduce legislation itself in January that clarifies that a psychotherapist would not be in violation if he or she made an assessment of a potential client where there would be a dual relationship and concluded that there would be no risk or impaired judgment or exploitation and where there was no impaired judgment or exploitation.
 
Regardless of the outcome of our proposal, this involvement with DORA and the legislative process had been enlightening for me. The potential of reaching out to the other mental health groups and opening doors for discussion on dual relationships and a variety of topics is exciting.  CAP has a diverse group of mental health practitioners and there is much to be learned and shared about the nuances of our practices.
 
The board of directors of CAP invites you to attend the monthly meetings and learn more about this important topic.  Please consider spending and hour or two with us at the CAP Board meeting on Tuesday, November 6th at The People House in Denver. Another opportunity to learn more is on November 10th at the Annual Meeting and Workshop with Dr. Zur on Dual Relationships. This is a fantastic opportunity to network with your peers and learn from a national expert on this topic.  CEU's are available.
 
Suzy Walz RN, CCHt
Vice President, CAP